How to cope with your first Christmas without your person - Youth Team
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
Although you may never have met a celebrity or famous person, their death may have a big impact on you. Whether you liked them or not, the death of a public figure can bring up strong feelings and you might start to feel overwhelmed. Especially if every time you switch on the TV, log on to social media or see your friends, that’s all anyone is talking about.
Here are some examples of how to look after yourself when a public figure dies:
You might be confused, and maybe a little embarrassed, about being so upset about the death of a public figure you’ve never even met, but there are lots of ways it might affect you. You can connect with a famous person without knowing or meeting them. Maybe you grew up watching, listening or following them, so their death can feel like a big loss. This might be your first experience of someone dying and it can feel overwhelming and uncertain. Let yourself feel your emotions, write down how you're feeling if you want to, and allow yourself to cry if you feel the need to.
If you have been bereaved, then the death of a public figure can bring up your grief in a very intense way. Hearing everyone talk about their death and seeing reactions from their family, friends and fans might remind you of when your important person died and trigger those difficult feelings again.
Public figures are connected to significant moments in our own lives. Maybe you and your dad used to always listen to that singer, or you and your sister used to follow that influencer, or you and your nan used to watch royal occasions together. The death of that celebrity can remind you of those special moments and reignite your grief.
To deal with overwhelming emotions, try some simple self care. If you're at school, uni, or work, explain to someone that your feelings have been brought up to the surface and ask if you can take 5 minutes out to calm yourself. If you're at home, try listening to your favourite songs, watching your favourite show, or eating something delicious as an effort to self care. If you want to, try journalling about your emotions or drawing to let your feelings out.
Talk to someone you trust, that might be a close family member or friend or someone online within the same fan community. If they were famous, there might be tribute sites set up where you can connect with other people grieving for them. If you're feeling uncomfortable about openly grieving, read this to help you manage grief when you feel like you aren't able to be open.
Just because you never met that public figure, it doesn’t mean you can’t mark their death in some way. Finding a way to say goodbye or pay tribute to them can help you process your grief. Although you probably won’t be able to attend the celebrity’s funeral or memorial service, there are other ways to say goodbye.
If they were famous, there might be tribute sites set up where you can leave a message or gain some comfort from reading other peoples' messages. These spaces can help you feel less alone when you're grieving for someone you've never met. If you can't find a tribute page, consider writing your own tribute down somewhere, it might help you connect to how you're feeling before releasing some of those heavier emotions.
Are you starting to feel overwhelmed by all the news alerts, tributes and other people’s reactions? Struggling to focus on school, work, family or friends? Sometimes being on social media can make emotions feel worse and you can consume so much information and content in a short space of time that it can feel difficult to process. If you're seeing lots of tributes and triggering posts about the celebrity you're grieving for, take yourself off social media for a while. Read a book, watch a film, go outside for some fresh air.
Whatever you're feeling, it's completely okay and valid. There's no right or wrong way to grieve. If the death of this celebrity has brought up emotions from a previous bereavement of someone important to you and you'd like to talk about it, we're here to listen.
If you need to talk, we’re here to listen. You can speak to the Winston’s Wish bereavement team using one of our confidential on-demand services. You can chat with us anonymously if you wish and share whatever you are feeling. Nothing about your grief is off limits. We promise to listen, not judge and can offer advice and guidance if needed. You can speak to us as little or as often as you want.
Click the blue ‘Chat with us’ button at the bottom right of your screen between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
Call us for free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
If it’s urgent, text WW to 85258 to speak with someone from our trusted partner, Shout. Open 24/7.
If you need to speak to us in a language other than English, we can use interpreters over the phone, and we can use the Relay UK app if you have hearing or speech difficulties.
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
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