How to cope with your first Christmas without your person - Youth Team
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
There are some moments in life as you get older, where new experiences and opportunities are available to you, like finally being able to have driving lessons, owning your first car, or getting a job to bring in some hard-earned cash!... But one of the choices that may be available to you as you arrive into adulthood is the option to move out of your home.
Moving out of home is a big life change for anyone that journeys it, but let’s be honest, it can be especially tough when you do it whilst grieving the death of someone. You may be grieving the death of a parent, your brother or sister or someone else you know, and your grief may bring feelings of feeling alone, like no one around you understands! Although moving away from home can be exciting and adventurous, it means leaving behind the familiar surroundings you’re used to along with the close support of family and friends.
Although it may feel like a difficult experience, it’s also a great opportunity for growth and change. Below are some tips that you can try to prepare yourself for the emotional challenges you may face. We hope they might make the transition easier for you and your emotional well-being.
Let’s face it – moving out of home is a major life change. Leaving behind what you’re so used to and moving to a new, but different environment. It’s really important during this time to allow yourself time to grieve the loss of the person who died. Even though they may have died a few years ago, the feelings of grief can arrive when you least expect it, including when you move out of home. Big transitions and experiences like this can often re-trigger some of those feelings of grief, so this is an important time to give yourself the care you may need.
Be sure to let your family, friends, or those you trust, know how you are feeling about moving out of home. Whilst your grieving, big changes like this in your life may bring on feelings of being nervous, anxious, or worried like you could be making the wrong decision. These feelings are normal and the people you trust can offer you the support and encouragement you may need to help make the transition from one home to another easier for you.
If there are others around you who are also grieving, it can sometimes feel like you’re adding to their emotions by talking about it, but they might find it helpful to know how you’re feeling too. It’s important to remember that everyone grieves differently, so other peoples’ timelines may not necessarily align with yours, but it’s okay to want to talk about it at any time.
So, you’ve made the big decision to move out. Next step – make a plan! Where are you going to live? How will you pay for all the living costs? How will stay connect to all the people you are moving away from? I’m sure you’ll have other questions that need answering to make up your plan, but don’t feel like you have to do it alone. You could talk this through with other people you know who have moved out or start by writing down your thoughts and how you would like everything to work before making any arrangements around money and contracts.
It can be easy to focus on the challenges that moving out of home may bring, but it’s also really exciting! Adjusting to new surrounds and environments needs time so it’s important to set realistic expectations. For example, the first place you live after moving out might not be your dream home, but you can make it your own by bringing items with you to decorate and by keeping it clean and tidy once you’re settled. You might also feel like moving out of home will make you feel differently straight away, but this may not be the case. Changing your setting might help some feelings surrounding your grief, but it can also bring up more emotions. Encourage yourself to voice how you’re feeling to the people you trust or speak to Winston’s Wish.
Here are some more tips for coping with your grief when you’re moving home for the first time.
This may seem like a pretty obvious tip, but an important tip to remember. When you’re looking for a place to live, try to find a place that you feel comfortable in. Maybe that’s somewhere that is close to where you’re moving from, or close to family and friends, or maybe it’s somewhere that has a lot of natural light. Whatever the place, it’s important to make sure that it’s somewhere that you feel like you can settle and enjoy living there.
This is your opportunity to make it your home – decorating you home into the space you want it to be is important for your emotional well-being. You could put up pictures of your friends and family, bring some of your favourite belongings from the place you’ve moved from or even go out and buy something new that you like (money dependant!). All these things can help to give your new space the homely feel that is personal to you.
Moving home can be one of those experiences that can be stressful, but however stressful it is, it’s really important to make sure that you take care of yourself. Don’t give up on eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep or exercising regularly. All these things can help you transition from one place to the next, even if the stress arrives.
If you need to talk, we’re here to listen. You can speak to the Winston’s Wish bereavement team using one of our confidential on-demand services. You can chat with us anonymously if you wish and share whatever you are feeling. Nothing about your grief is off limits. We promise to listen, not judge and can offer advice and guidance if needed. You can speak to us as little or as often as you want.
Click the blue ‘Chat with us’ button at the bottom right of your screen between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
Call us for free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
If it’s urgent, text WW to 85258 to speak with someone from our trusted partner, Shout. Open 24/7.
If you need to speak to us in a language other than English, we can use interpreters over the phone, and we can use the Relay UK app if you have hearing or speech difficulties.
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
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