Often, people who are grieving can feel isolated and a greater sense of grief because they are watching other people celebrate Eid in large gatherings with families and friends.
Sometimes a little can go a long way:
Eid Al Adha is a celebration marked by Muslims to commemorate the story of Ishmael and his son Isaac. In their legacy, during this Eid Muslims worldwide take part in charity by donating and distributing meat to the poor. During this time, Muslims can make their once-in-a-lifetime pilgrimage to Makkah in the footsteps of Ishmael and Isaac.
Eid is a joyous occasion for Muslims, and there are many traditions such as beautifying oneself in the best clothes, eating an odd number of dates, and rushing to the mosque for an early morning prayer. The specific celebrations can vary by culture, but usually include family time, exchanging gifts and money, as well as tucking into yummy feasts of food. Muslims are encouraged to take part in Eid, as it is a renowned occasion of joy with celebrations continuing for up to three days. However, as it is a time of family and celebration, it can be a sensitive time for those who are grieving their loved ones. Culturally speaking, some cultures do dismiss those who are grieving from taking part in the celebrations, as they frown upon it. However, from a faith perspective, everyone has the right to take part in the prayer and celebration, as it is a religious holiday. Grief can be heightened during this time and can look different for many people.
My first Eid, grieving my father, was Eid al-Fitr, the celebration to mark the end of fasting in the month of Ramadan. Ramadan had started just weeks after he passed away and I found it very difficult as I missed him a lot. I was also dreading celebrating Eid so soon after he passed away. However, I found that when Eid came, I wanted to commemorate my father, as this was a celebration that he loved so dearly. I was reminded of how happy he was on this celebration, and how he would derive joy from seeing his family all together as one. After attending the Eid prayer, I went to the cemetery to visit my father and make a special prayer for him, just as he taught me to. For my father's sake, I decided to buy a beautiful new outfit and take photos in our garden, just like he would have wished. Although Eid was strange, as we didn’t have any of our usual guests join us, due to the others’ cultural expectations of grief, I knew I did my best to please my late father’s wishes and also take part in the traditions that hold religious significance and keep alive precious family memories.
As the Holy Month comes to a close, Iman, Youth Ambassador, shares her experiences of what is Eid is like after losing her father, offering advice and reflections on what this celebration means to her spiritually whilst grieving.
The next Eid Al-Adha, as a family we decided that we wished to take part in celebrating Eid because of the spiritual significance. We had to accept that Eid would never be the same as before due to my father’s passing, however, we would have to make new traditions and memories. For this occasion, we again took part in the communal Eid prayer in the park, made a prayer at my father’s grave and returned home to change into our outfits. However, instead of waiting for the presence of others to validate and bring joy to our Eid, we planned an outing for all of us to enjoy. We spent a really sunny eid, visiting a fruit farm and picking strawberries. For a lot of people, this may seem strange, but we knew that if this brought joy to us then surely this is what our late father would have wanted. It isn’t the traditional way to celebrate Eid as most families do, but we have had to adapt and choose what would work for us as a family that was grieving.
However, when focusing on the spiritual lens, I have found grief support through my faith by reading stories and examples from those who have also grieved. When the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) lost his wife, he faced a year of grief and in this sadness, I learned that he found comfort in the verses: ‘Verily, with each hardship there is ease’ (Quran 94:05). This has uplifted me in realising that although grief will always remain, with time there are always greater things coming. By being comfortable in vulnerability, I can validate others’ grief, ensuring that they know they are not alone and are allowed to process their feelings and seek spiritual support. As more people resonate, an empowering virtual community based on shared experiences has been built.
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