How to cope with loneliness over winter
Over winter, with the darker evenings, feelings of loneliness can seem more overwhelming than ever.
A poem by a male Youth Ambassador:
Deep inside
My quiet spirit cries
All that I hide
Twists into lies
Endless emotion
Shadow within heart
Unreciprocated devotion
Forever to depart
Inevitable desire
To connect as one
A rising rose fire
A connection nears gone
Echoed souvenirs escape
My whole world dark
Corrupt beyond shape
Without you I embark
With one final thought
And a history to save
Every tear that is fought
Plays one final wave
And across the realms and stars up high
I come to say my last goodbye.
Poets throughout the ages have written about their experiences of grief and loss, and reading poetry can be incredibly inspiring if you want to write your own. Emily Dickinson, Maya Angelou, WH Auden, Rupi Kaur and Kae Tempest are great poets to explore, and can help to feel less alone in your grief as well as giving you ideas for your own poems.
Some people find that the physical act of putting pen to paper helps to unlock memories- if you start with a description of a time you had with your loved one , as you write you might start to remember details, smells and phrases that you thought you haven’t thought about for a long time. You could use a photograph or video for inspiration, or listen to some music that reminds you of a memory that you would like to lean into.
'Continuing Bonds' is one model of grief lots of people find comforting. This concept is where rather than aiming for ‘getting over’ or ‘moving on’ from a bereavement, we continue to find ways to stay connected to the person who has died. Poetry can be a very moving way to do this- try writing a poem in the second person as though you are speaking to the person who died, or a poem in letter form.
Free writing (where you hand write really quickly and without editing as you go along) can give you a sense of what you are really thinking and feeling. Once you’ve had a good write, you can then go through with a different coloured pen and highlight words and phrases that you like. Using metaphor, symbolism or giving yourself the challenge of a rhyming scheme can give you a new perspective on what is going on for you.
'Fragments' by Dana, Youth Ambassador:
There’s you, the cloudless sky and your blue shirt
You tell me it’s time to go but I like it here
And when I wake up, the only things left are fragments
Little moments with you that I treasure
Because that’s the only place I ever see you
In my dreams
I want to prepare myself
But I never will
That’s why you never tell me
And I wait
And I wait
I wait for you to come and laugh with me one more time
Laugh loudly at the same old things until the day comes
And when I wake up, the only things left are fragments
Your scent, the sound of your laugh, your blue shirt, the cloudless sky
'My story of grieving for my sister' - spoken word by Jake, Content Creator
Talk Grief is powered by Winston’s Wish, a youth grief charity that supports grieving children and young people. If you want to talk to someone about your grief, call us on 08088 020 021 (open 8am-8pm, weekdays), email ask@winstonswish.org or use our online chat (open 8am-8pm, weekdays). If you need urgent support in a crisis, you can contact the 24/7 Winston’s Wish Crisis Messenger by texting WW to 85258.
Write, film, draw... Create content to share on Talk Grief and give hope to other grieving young people by joining our Youth Team. You can contribute as much or as little as you’d like.
Find out moreKnowing that you aren’t the only young person grieving can be life changing. Here you can read the experiences of other young people, advice and tips from experts and speak to our bereavement support workers.
Advice, resources and talks to help you understand grief and how it might impact you.
Grieving young people share their real experiences – the good, the bad and the ugly.
Trained bereavement support workers to listen and support you in your grief.
Grief is different for everyone, so however you are feeling you’ll find something to relate to.
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