Feelings of worry are a totally normal part of grief. You may be feeling more worried than normal about something in particular, like upcoming exams or life changes, or you may be feeling worried about anything and everything. You're not alone.
Read on to find out more about why you could be feeling worried, and discover some ways to cope with your emotions.
How is grief connected to feelings of worry?
We understand that when someone important to you dies, your world feels unstable, making the future look uncertain. Instability and uncertainty can cause feelings of worry. Grief is a reminder that things change, often out of your control, and this can prompt you to worry about future changes, unexpected happenings, and experiencing the death of someone else.
Let's explore a few reasons behind this heightened state of worry:
You might feel a need for control
By constantly worrying about future events, you might be trying to predict and control them, which can be exhausting. After someone important to you has died, you can become hyper aware that things might go wrong, and worrying about any possible outcome can feel like a way of controlling the uncontrollable. The need for stability in your life can feel stronger than ever before and this may feed into your overthinking and worrying.
This may be your first experience of someone dying
Experiencing the death of someone important at a young age means you’re facing something you’ve probably not thought about much before. With experience, people develop resilience, which helps you to learn that you can overcome obstacles. But when facing something for the first time, it’s easy to worry about whether you can handle it or not, or how long the difficult feelings will last.
You might be feeling emotionally drained
When you're grieving, as well as experiencing heightened emotions, you may also struggle with day-to-day things like sleep and eating properly. Lack of sleep or not eating enough of the right foods can lead to feeling physically and emotionally drained and struggling to concentrate. You might become more forgetful or start to feel disconnected from what everyone else is doing and these things can also contribute to feelings of worry.
I used to constantly worry that things would happen to my mum or my brother or other people around me. If I texted my mum and she didn't reply within a few minutes, I would start immediately jumping to the worst conclusions and panicking.
Maya, Youth Ambassador
How can I cope with feelings of worry?
Try not to worry about feeling worried... it’s important to remember that feelings of worry, though sometimes overwhelming, are natural and manageable. Here are a few ways to handle them:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings
Instead of pushing your feelings aside, acknowledge them. Understanding that your worries might be part of grief can help make sense of them. You could write down the things you’re worried about, this might help to get them off your chest. When the worries come to you at night, it can also be helpful to keep a notepad by your bed instead of unlocking your phone to write in your notes app because the notifications and other apps can cause your sleep to become more disturbed!
- Seek Support
Talking to someone such as a friend, family member, or professional, can help process your feelings. They might be able to provide a fresh perspective and sometimes even solutions to the concerns you can’t stop thinking about.
- Stay Present
Practicing mindfulness can help to relieve anxiety. Whether it’s through meditation, deep-breathing exercises, or just spending a few moments each day acknowledging the present, staying grounded can reduce feelings of worry about the future.
- Limit Exposure
While it's essential to be informed, limiting exposure to distressing news or social media can help. Remember, it’s okay to take breaks.
- Engage in Activities
Try out some hobbies or activities that give you joy and purpose. Whether it’s art, music, sports, or just reading a book, immersing yourself in something positive can help distract and heal the mind.
- Accept the Uncertainty
As difficult as it might seem right now, it's essential to understand and accept that you cannot control everything. By acknowledging this, you can begin to find peace in the unpredictability of life.
Worry is a complex emotion, often interwoven with grief and loss. Understanding the root of your feelings can be the key to managing them better.
Remember, every stage of life comes with its challenges, but each challenge also brings growth and new opportunities. By seeking support, staying grounded in the present, and embracing life's unpredictability, you can navigate the future with resilience. You are not alone in this journey, and there is strength in seeking help and understanding.