How to cope with loneliness over winter
Over winter, with the darker evenings, feelings of loneliness can seem more overwhelming than ever.
When you grieve, your emotions might be a little overwhelming. For many young people, when grief hits, crying soon follows. Science tells us that tears to help release some of the emotions that may build up. It should go without saying that there is never anything to feel embarrassed or weird about if you are crying a lot - your body is doing what it can to help you out at an incredibly difficult time.
There are many reasons why you may cry a lot after the death of someone. You might be feeling sadness, anger, guilt, or loneliness. You may be missing the person that died a lot and struggling to come to terms with their death. You may also be feeling overwhelmed by any sudden changes that have occurred in your life due to that person dying and not being here anymore.
Crying can also (but not always) release some feel good chemicals in your body called endorphins and sometimes this can bring a bit of relief. It can even help us get to sleep. If you are crying a lot and this has been going on for a while, it could be that this is a good moment to reach out for more support from someone you trust. Whilst it is natural to cry, especially when you are going through a difficult time, talking about your feelings with someone else might help those emotions feel less overwhelming.
For some young people, they may not want to cry and try to hold the tears in, but pushing down tears is a bit like shaking up a bottle of fizzy drink with the lid on - it will work for a bit, but at some point the lid will burst off and all the pop will explode out of the bottle, not necessarily at a convenient time. Sometimes you may try to put crying on hold for a while or wait until you are somewhere where it feels safe and okay to start crying.
The ideas below are ways to help you manage your feelings in a different way. Not everything works for everyone so keep trying different things until you find the one that suits you. Remember though, crying a lot after someone has died is a normal reaction when you are grieving. It’s okay to cry.
This works best if you do it the first moment a tear appears. Breathe in as deeply as you can, hold it for 5 seconds, and then slowly let it out for as long as it feels comfortable. It’s the holding the breath bit which is important, but don’t hold it for too long!
Writing about your feelings can help you to express them in a safe and helpful way, especially if you are finding it difficult to talk to people about how you are feeling.
Grief can be harder to cope with if you don’t get enough sleep, and crying a lot may be a sign that you might need to get a little bit more. If you think this might be the case, think about ways you could start to wind down ready earlier - maybe listen to a chilled-out playlist on Spotify, read a book or try a sleep story.
Crying is a very dehydrating thing to do. Even though letting those tears flow can be a good thing, it can sometimes make you feel like you have no energy left. It’s best to try and have a glass of cold water as it gives your body a new sensation to focus on. Try not to have any sugary drinks as these will give you an initial boost, but afterwards you might have a sugar crash, which may not be that helpful for you.
If you are struggling to cope with your grief, remember you can contact Winston’s Wish – we're here to help and to listen.
If you need to talk, we’re here to listen. You can speak to the Winston’s Wish bereavement team using one of our confidential on-demand services. You can chat with us anonymously if you wish and share whatever you are feeling. Nothing about your grief is off limits. We promise to listen, not judge and can offer advice and guidance if needed. You can speak to us as little or as often as you want.
Click the blue ‘Chat with us’ button at the bottom right of your screen between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
Call us for free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
If it’s urgent, text WW to 85258 to speak with someone from our trusted partner, Shout. Open 24/7.
If you need to speak to us in a language other than English, we can use interpreters over the phone, and we can use the Relay UK app if you have hearing or speech difficulties.
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