How to cope with loneliness over winter
Over winter, with the darker evenings, feelings of loneliness can seem more overwhelming than ever.
You can’t make things better, but you can give your friend support just by being there and saying, “I’m so sorry about [their person]”. When a friend has been bereaved, you may be wondering what to do to help them. Some people worry that they might make things worse. Lots of young people on our Youth Team have told us, “The worst has already happened”, and you can’t make it worse for your friend by mentioning what has happened.
Here are some other things that grieving young people say friends can do to help:
Acknowledge that something huge has happened – even saying, “I’m sorry about [their person].” Or “How are you doing?” will make a difference.
Understand that the person who has been bereaved might not be able to talk or share how they are feeling – but don’t stop asking because one day they might feel they need the space to talk.
Talk about the person who died. If you knew them too, share some thoughts and memories of them, e.g., “I remember that time your dad left your football kit on the roof of the car!...”
Don't worry if your friend gets upset – it’s okay if they do. Ask if they need anything, even if the thing they need is space.
Keep involving them in activities and plans – even if they say no because they just can’t face seeing other people or going out. Keep asking because one day they’ll say yes and be so grateful that you kept them in the loop.
Stand up for your friend if others make remarks about them or jokes that your friend doesn’t agree with.
Remind your friend to look after themselves: to get enough sleep, to try to relax, to eat, to listen to music.
Avoid trying to cheer them up – just let them feel what they are feeling for now. But if they are up for some fun, don’t be surprised they need some time off from feeling a certain way – it doesn’t mean they are ‘over it’.
Make a note of important dates (such as the day their person died or their person’s birthday) so you can mention it or send a ‘thinking of you’ message.
Talk to them about getting some extra support if you are worried about them; for example, from their family, a teacher, or someone else in their life.
If it feels okay to do so, let them know about Winston’s Wish. They can access support (as little or as much as is necessary) up to the age of 25. Even if it was just a quick chat over the phone or using our live chat service, we’re here to listen.
If you need to talk, we’re here to listen. You can speak to the Winston’s Wish bereavement team using one of our confidential on-demand services. You can chat with us anonymously if you wish and share whatever you are feeling. Nothing about your grief is off limits. We promise to listen, not judge and can offer advice and guidance if needed. You can speak to us as little or as often as you want.
Click the blue ‘Chat with us’ button at the bottom right of your screen between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
Call us for free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
If it’s urgent, text WW to 85258 to speak with someone from our trusted partner, Shout. Open 24/7.
If you need to speak to us in a language other than English, we can use interpreters over the phone, and we can use the Relay UK app if you have hearing or speech difficulties.
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