Hi, I’m Lilly, I’m 25 and I’m a Winston’s Wish Youth Ambassador. Whilst feeling a little worried I was “too late” when I joined Winston’s Wish last year, I’m so glad I decided to apply to become a Youth Ambassador for this charity. I only wish I’d have known about it sooner in my grief journey. The opportunities I’ve had so far have been great and it’s so nice to be involved with an organisation dedicated to a cause I care deeply about.
I lost my mum when I was 16, and as anyone who has ever lost someone they love will know, it felt unbearable. I felt like I’d taken every moment I’d ever had with her for granted, and I really struggled to come to terms with the fact she was gone. At 16, I had all of these big things to think about… my education, my future, relationships, friendships, a whole life of my own to build and I couldn’t quite comprehend how I’d manage any of this whilst feeling so unbelievably heartbroken about what had happened to my mum.
I didn’t know of any organisations or charities like Winston’s Wish back then, and I had already struggled with my mental health in the years before losing my mum, so it felt a lot like everything just continued to crumble around me. It’s fair to say that I felt crushed under the weight of my own struggles, all I wanted to do was hide under my duvet and never come out again. Grief can make you feel so many different emotions, it can be exhausting and for me it felt like on some days I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Everywhere I went this dark rain cloud above me labelled “grief” came too. I saw a quote once that said “grief is just love with nowhere to go” and I think it’s true - grief and love do come hand in hand. To be able to feel grief you must have felt love, love so special that you’ll never forget it. But despite this; it still just made me feel so sad.
I guess over time I have learned to co-exist with my grief, it was hard, it still is some days. But it did get easier as I got older to talk to people about my mum and tell my story. To say the words “my mum died” without my voice breaking will never be easy, but I try my best to make her proud through remembering her, and making every moment count - because for some, like my mum and so many others, life is unfairly short.
I started using art & creativity as a way to express myself and this has played a huge part in my journey over the years, it also helped me to process my grief in a way that didn’t require me to talk about it when I couldn’t find the right words, which I found really helpful. My mum loved art too, she was an amazing artist, so I always feel close to her when doing something arty. Sometimes when I find myself missing her, I like to remind myself that it’s okay to still feel lost sometimes, it’s okay to still cry, and no matter what anyone says, you don’t ever have to “get over it”.
My message to other young grieving people would be that although it might feel like things will never be okay again, you can still live your life whilst remembering your person. Despite my struggles over the years, I’ve managed to get a job that I adore, learned to laugh and have fun all over again, and slowly but surely I have built a little life I’m proud of. I wear a locket necklace with a photo of my mum inside every single day. It has a compass engraved on the front and I love this design because now, wherever life takes me, I trust she will always be guiding me in the right direction. I never take it off, so she’s always right there with me.
I became a Winston’s Wish Youth Ambassador to meet other young people who have experienced grief at a young age, to share my story so other young grieving people don’t feel alone, to do something positive with my grief, to honour my mum, and to support a charity that does vital work for grieving children and young people, which just means so much to me. Thanks for having me Winston’s Wish. I’m so grateful, more than you’ll ever know.
- Lilly
Over winter, with the darker evenings, feelings of loneliness can seem more overwhelming than ever.
Crying is a normal response when your person has died, no matter how long ago. There's no right or wrong way to grieve, and it's okay to let it out.
A guide for grieving young people from the Winston's Wish Bereavement Support Team.
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
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Youth Ambassadors share the ways they remember their person digitally, through photo albums, playlists, and more.
Youth Ambassadors, Daisy, Freya, and Katie, share their personal views of their own secondary losses as a result of their bereavement.
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Some tips for taking care of yourself when you're grieving for a celebrity or public figure.
Our Bereavement Support Team have written some guidance on how to manage grief when you feel like you aren't able to be open.
Lilly shares an introduction to her grief experience and why it's so important to her to be a Winston's Wish Youth Ambassador.
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Useful tips to help you understand and cope with your grief.
Feeling sad that your person isn't there, guilty that you're celebrating your results, or proud of yourself for your results. There's no right or wrong way to grieve.
It can be very difficult knowing what to say and to be around someone who has experienced the death of someone close. Adults find it difficult too, so try not to feel bad about this.
The death of a friend may feel extremely difficult and can feel as significant as that of a family member. Whatever you're feeling is valid, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Jack, Content Creator, writes about how managing his grief through running has led to him winning the Leeds Half Marathon 2024!
Iman, Youth Ambassador, explains about Eid and shares what it's like for her and her family to grieve during Eid.
Miranda shares about how she uses music in different ways to help express her grief and emotions.
Ashleigh writes about how both writing and music have helped her in her grief.
The Winston's Wish bereavement support team share top tips for managing grief this Father's Day.
Grace's dad died from cancer when she was eight years old, she shares how she remembers her dad on Father’s Day.
Feelings of worry are very normal when you're grieving. Read on to discover some ways to manage these feelings.
Useful tips for exam season if you're grieving
Youth Ambassador, Iman, shares about her Eid celebrations as a grieving young person
Content Creator, Angus shares his thoughts
Useful tips for exam season
Interview with Mark O’Sullivan, writer of Tell Me Everything
Tips to help improve your sleep when you're grieving
How poetry can be a useful way to express your feelings
Young people share what it's like to grieve while studying at uni.
Our bereavement experts are available to speak to for immediate support on weekdays from 8am to 8pm.
Get top tips from bereavement experts, and hear from Youth Ambassadors, Henri and Teigan, about their experiences of Mother's Day.
Phoebe's mum died when she was nine. She shares how she feels on Mother’s Day and how she remembers her mum.
