Grieving is tough no matter what time of year it is, but the winter months can add an extra layer of challenge. The colder weather, shorter days, and holiday season can amplify feelings of sadness and isolation. If you're a young person navigating grief during this time, here are eight top tips to help you take care of yourself and find some comfort amidst the challenges.
1. Allow Yourself to Feel
Grieving is a personal and unique experience, and there’s no right or wrong way to go through it. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come with grief—sadness, anger, confusion, or even moments of numbness. It’s important to acknowledge and accept these feelings rather than push them away. Giving yourself permission to grieve is a vital step in the healing process.
2. Create a Routine
The winter can disrupt your usual routines, which might add to your sense of disorientation. When it’s dark outside it can be easy to just stay in bed and binge watch TV or scroll through TikTok! Establishing a daily routine can help you feel more stable. Simple routines, like regular mealtimes, a set sleep schedule, and daily self-care activities, can help you feel more grounded and in control. You can start by picking just one thing you do every day- make yourself your favourite hot drink, or a short walk round the block.
3. Seek Support
You don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a counsellor who can offer support and understanding. The darker evenings can leave us feeling more isolated in the wintertime but remember that talking about your feelings with someone who listens without judgment can be incredibly comforting. You could message or facetime a friend or plan to go for a walk at the weekend. If you need someone to talk to Winston’s Wish are here On-Demand 8am-8pm to talk on the phone or via live chat. This means you can grab a cup of tea and snuggle up on the sofa while having the space to talk to someone who can listen and support you.
4. Look after yourself
Grieving can be exhausting, both physically and emotionally, and this is even harder when we often feel so tired in the winter already. Make sure to take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, eating nourishing foods, and staying hydrated. Taking care of the basics really do go a long way. Self-care is not selfish; it’s essential for your wellbeing. If these things feel difficult- that’s okay! Just do your best and ask for help if you need it.
5. Stay Active
Moving your body can be a powerful tool in managing grief and improving your mood. Even when it’s cold outside, and the duvet feels impossible to crawl out from, find ways to stay active that you enjoy and that are available to you in your body- your body and mind will thank you! Whether it’s a brisk walk, indoor exercises, or a dance session, moving your body can help reduce stress and boost your emotional health. Staying active doesn’t make grief go away but it can help us to ride the waves of emotion and keep us healthier and more resilient at a time when we really need it. Getting outside can really help; breathe the fresh air and look up at the sky, there’s always something beautiful if you look for it. A good playlist can really help too, whether for a walk or workout. If leaving the house really isn’t happening check out “cozy cardio” on TikTok and YouTube!
6. Remember Your Person
Finding meaningful ways to remember and honour the person who died is important. You might create a memory box, write letters to them, or cook their favourite meal. Creating a ritual or finding ways to celebrate their life can give you a sense of connection and comfort. When the days are so dark, lighting a candle for your loved one can be really special.
You might be celebrating an important event or holiday without your person and this can be especially hard when you’re grieving. Be really kind to yourself and don’t put pressure on yourself to be happy on these days. You can find ways of remembering your special person on these important days. Give yourself permission to enjoy what you can- you can miss your person and find comfort in your favourite traditions at the same time.
7. Be Patient with Yourself
Grieving is a process that takes time, and it’s important to be patient and gentle with yourself. Similar to the deepest darkest days of winter, our most difficult days when grieving can make us question if the sun will come out again. Understand that it’s normal to have good days and bad days, and healing doesn’t follow a set timeline. Celebrate small victories and progress and allow yourself the space to grieve at your own pace. Winter can be a lovely time to take things more slowly, rest more and be quiet and that might be just what you need. And remember that winter will end, and spring will come again before you know it.
8. Look for “Glimmers”
The theory of "glimmers," was introduced by therapist Deb Dana. It highlights the power of small, positive moments to help our emotional resilience and wellbeing. During winter, a season often associated with heightened grief and introspection, focusing on these glimmers can be particularly healing. Amidst the cold and darkness, finding small, uplifting experiences—like the gentle warmth of a cozy blanket, a peaceful walk, or a shared memory with loved ones—can offer much-needed comfort and connection. By looking for and holding on to these small moments, you can find pockets of light that help soften the weight of your sadness and provide a sense of hope. This practice encourages you to take a break from being consumed by the pain of loss just for a few moments so you can appreciate the small joys that still exist around you, if you can look for them.
Winter can make grief feel even heavier, but by taking care of yourself and seeking support, you can navigate this challenging time with resilience and hope. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and to take things one step at a time. You’re not alone in this journey, Winston's Wish can support you.