How to cope with your first Christmas without your person - Youth Team
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
Grieving the death of a friend can be just as significant as the death of a family member. You may even feel like you’re closer with some friends than with some family members. Lots of support is typically aimed at the family of the person who died and not necessarily their friends, and we recognise that this can be a really difficult time where you may need additional support. To talk to us about your grief and how you’re feeling, scroll down to find out how to use our on-demand services including helpline, live chat, and ask email.
Finding out the news that your friend has died can happen in a number of different ways. For example, you might find out from their family, another friend, your school or college, or maybe through social media. The way in which you find out this news can impact your initial emotions and you may experience shock. That’s completely normal and it’s okay if you feel overwhelmed.
At first, it can be difficult to understand how your feeling, and you may face emotions like confusion, anger, sadness, and guilt all at once. On the other hand, you might be feeling nothing at all and like part of you is missing. When you’re ready, try to let those around you know what’s going on so they can try to help you or give you the space you need. People who are close to you may worry about you and be asking you how you are a lot so it can help to let them know if you need time to be ready to talk about your friend and what’s happened.
When a friend dies who has become more distant, or maybe they're a friend you only know online, you may be confused or surprised at how much you’re affected by their death. Estranged friendships can be difficult in themselves and no matter the circumstances, you can still grieve for that person. Thinking about the time you spent together and how close you used to be may feel like you’re losing that person all over again because perhaps you grieved the friendship in a way when it ended or you drifted apart. Online or social media friendships are really common now, and just because you didn’t meet that person it doesn’t mean you can’t feel sadness and grief for them.
There are lots of ways to remember those who’ve died, and friends are no different. You might want to put up photos of you together in your room or scroll through your phone and make an album of your memories with photos and videos. Writing an unsent letter can be a way to let out some of your feelings too; you could write to them and then keep it in a secret place or tear the letter up afterwards. If you have mutual friends, when it feels right you could plan to meet up and spend time together talking about your memories and supporting each other. If you knew your friend’s family, you might like to speak to them too. For more suggestions on how to remember someone who’s died, visit our Grief Toolkit.
If you need to talk, we’re here to listen. You can speak to the Winston’s Wish bereavement team using one of our confidential on-demand services. You can chat with us anonymously if you wish and share whatever you are feeling. Nothing about your grief is off limits. We promise to listen, not judge and can offer advice and guidance if needed. You can speak to us as little or as often as you want.
Click the blue ‘Chat with us’ button at the bottom right of your screen between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
Call us for free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
If it’s urgent, text WW to 85258 to speak with someone from our trusted partner, Shout. Open 24/7.
If you need to speak to us in a language other than English, we can use interpreters over the phone, and we can use the Relay UK app if you have hearing or speech difficulties.
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
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